Tag Archives: personal growth

6 Ways to Stop Mentally Beating Yourself Up

Via @PsychToday @selenidotorg by #SarahBest

“It’s time to give yourself a break. After all, you deserve one,” suggests the author. Aren’t we all guilty of this?

Isn’t it strange that, at a time that we seem to have so much compassion for others, we do not have the patience to be kinder to ourselves? Sometimes I wonder if our upbringing had something to do with this behavior. Perhaps we think that by humiliating ourselves, by always belittling and judging every action, we would seem less arrogant and people would not feel threatened by us. Ms Best is right, though, we should be stop being so hard on ourselves. It is only by being less harsh critics of ourselves that we will be able to find true compassion for others.

Do you think you will have difficulty to change your behavior? Here are some tips on how to stop all that negative self-talk:

[Excerpt only. Read full article here.]

1. Listen to your self-talk. When a friend tells you that you look ”good”, do you think, “I do feel great!”or do you wonder if she’s implying you are fat/wearing too much make-up. The first step to changing how you view yourself is to listen to how you talk to yourself.

2. Evaluate its credibility. Once you’ve tuned in to your self-talk, explore it. Healthy self-talk is based in reality, but unhealthy self-talk distorts it. Unhealthy self-talk triggers real emotions with unrealistic, or irrational, statements. [Read more about irrational thought patterns here.]

3. Examine the evidence. Challenge unhelpful messages.

4. Generate an alternative hypothesis, based on the evidence you do have.

5. Construct a statement to correct the error. Identify the thinking error.

6. Pretend you’re talking to a self-critical friend, and offer words of encouragement to yourself.

[Above six points are discussed in greater detail here.]

We always say that everyone deserves a loving relationship; true, but the most precious loving relationship is the one you have with yourself. By practicing the techniques above, you will find yourself becoming less and less critical of every little thing you do. You will not constantly question the truth of other people’s comments in an effort to further bring yourself down. Accepting compliments from others will become easier and giving yourself some credit will become a habit.

This is not pride, this is self-compassion. Go ahead, try it, you deserve it.

Please click here to read the original article on PsychologyToday.com.

Source:

6 Ways to Stop (Mentally) Beating Yourself Up | Psychology Today

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Want to reach career goals? Follow this simple morning routine.

Via @mindbodygreen

Original article by Tyler C Beaty

“For the past 12 years, I’ve worked from home. For 11 of those years, I was working for other people. On my typical day, after hitting the snooze button too many times to count, I’d crawl out of bed…” [1]

Sound familiar? To me it does. I’ve been a stay-at-home-mom for 16 years, but after finding myself in pj’s and still struggling to feed the baby around noon one day, I decided to venture out and DO something with my life.

I studied for a degree in Counseling and decided to further this experience by founding a NPO focusing on the needs of the poor in my community. But still, I got stuck in this rut. Most nights I’d lie awake, waiting for the awful sound of happy little birds twittering hello to the morning (how dare they sound so happy?). I’d worry about the next day and then, when it dawned, it would be business as usual. Kids off to school, husband off to work, household chores done, e-mails, social media….on and on it went….a seemingly useless cycle repeating itself day in and day out. Point is, I was getting nowhere. Worse, I was getting depressed because I felt like I was not doing anything useful.

Reading this article I couldn’t help but smile…..I’m slowly getting into the ”program” suggested by the author and finally I’ve found that I can actually live a useful life. I can actually reach the goals I’ve set for myself. I’m finally taking charge of every day.

Have a read below, I’ve pointed out the different steps suggested by the author, steps you can take to regain control of your days and thus reach your career goals – become what YOU have dreamed of and not what your chaotic life allows you to become. Please DO read the full article here for a more detailed discussion.

  1. Prepare the night before
  2. Meditate
  3. Visualize
  4. Get inspired
  5. Exercise
  6. Keep a journal
  7. Stretch

[Read more details of these 7 points here.]

Ask yourself the question: Do you own your days?

Source:

[1] A Simple Morning Routine That Helped Me Reach My Career Goals & Make More Money – mindbodygreen.com

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How To Stop Fearing Loneliness 

Via @MindBodyGreen

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

[Read full article on MindBodyGreen by Angie Sarhan.]

“Whether it’s loved ones, neighbors, colleagues, friends, acquaintances, or strangers, our days often consist of having to interact, to talk, to listen, and to give of ourselves, without any time alone. Sure, we enjoy, but often the result is that when we find ourselves in solitude, we get scared. It’s surprising how easy it is to go from being uncomfortable in a room alone to fearing that there’s no one to love us, and no one there to be a witness to our lives.” [1]

Continue reading here to find out how you can change your fear of loneliness and learn to treasure your time of isolation.

Source:

  1. MindBodyGreen: How To Stop Fearing Loneliness

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The Tiny Mental Shift That Makes EVERYTHING Easier

Via @MindBodyGreen.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Original article in MBG by Dr Patricia Thompson

When you are quite the procrastinator, like I am, you can make endless to-do-lists, you’re a master at goal-setting (in print, that is) and you never really get anything done. There is always some silly reason why: I can’t go to the gym; I can’t finish this assignment, because there is not enough time… On and on it goes…

Dr Thompson makes an interesting suggestion in her article for MindBodyGreen (read it here).  She writes: “Saying can’t takes away your power, and in some ways provides an excuse for not moving forward toward your goals or fulfilling your commitments.

So, how can you shift your mindset to sidestep this problem? Replace can’twith won’t.” [1]

Now your ”reasons” for not reaching your goal will sound different:  I won’t go to the gym; I won’t finish this assignment. 

That little word ”won’t” changes things….it gives back your power. Perhaps you won’t, but that doesn’t mean you can’t…”won’t” creates the possibility of a different choice, one with a different outcome.

Dr Thompson continues to advise on how we can implement this in our lives:

  1. Reflect on the truth – what is the real reason you are not reaching your goal. What is keeping you from moving forward?
  2. Make a commitment to yourself – having decided that your goal is indeed important to you, you need to make a deal with yourself and write it down! Put it somewhere where you can always see it. This will keep you motivated.
  3. Tell others about your goal – this will help to keeping you motivated, because people tend to ask about your progress and you would not want to lose face by telling them you’ve given up again.
  4. Repeat the process if necessary – sometimes, despite your efforts, you may lose your ”happy thoughts” and be unable to finish what you started. This can be the result of unforeseen circumstances or you could lose your passion for the project. Whatever it may be, remind yourself constantly of the ”can’t”/”won’t” mind-shift, and take the necessary steps to accomplish your goal.

[Please read the full article here.]

Source:

[1] The Tiny Mental Shift That Makes EVERYTHING Easier – mindbodygreen.com by Dr Patricia Thompson

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Impulse vs Intuition – Deciphering Between Your Inner Guidance

Via @collectiveevol @angie_gnc

[Read full article by Angela Norambuena here.]

“Intuition. Your inner voice. Your gut feeling. The voice inside you that somehow knows which way to go. It’s the inner map we have that guides us on a path of happiness, love, peace and fulfilment. It’s an example of the pure magic we have within ourselves which can be so easy to ignore in our busy everyday lives full of pressures, deadlines, expectations and bills.

When you start to try and listen to your inner voice, you might come to a fork in the road. How can you tell if the voice inside of you is actually your intuition speaking to you, or if it’s just impulse?”

What is  Impulse? And Intuition? What is the difference between the two?

Find out answers to these questions and more here.

Source:

Impulse VS Intuition – Deciphering Between Your Inner Guidance | Collective-Evolution

3 Major Causes Of Depression — How To Heal Them Without Meds

Via @MindBodyGreen

[Excerpt only, read full article here.]

In this article dr Paul tells us about the book “The Emperors New Drugs” by dr Irving Kirsch. According to research explored in this book, it would seem that a lot of the things we believe, and have been told, about depression is wrong. The idea that brain imbalance causes depression, something that can easily be corrected by drugs, was actually an invention by pharmaceutical companies. Drugs, it would appear, only have a placebo effect on depression and the relapse rate for depressives on medication is higher than for those sufferers who seek psychological help.

Having worked with depression in patients for years, dr Paul identifies three particular causes for depression OTHER than brain imbalance:

  • Painful life situations like the loss of a loved one, loss of a job, financial problems, etc.
  • Physical causes from the gut – research has proven a link between imbalances in gut flora and depression.
  • Self-abandonment – implying that you feel a certain loss of control over your life. Issues like judging or shaming yourself constantly, addictions as means to avoid responsibility, ignoring your feelings, refraining from self-care (exercise, good nutrition), procrastination, etc.

[For more details on these causes, read full article here.]

Dr Paul suggests that the only successful treatment for depression is psychotherapy and/or trauma therapy. In doing so the sufferers will be helped by professionals who can teach them how to use certain healing techniques or tools, like self-actualization, acceptance, stress management and many more. [Read about the techniques, suggested by Dr Paul, on how people can heal their depression. Click here.]

MBG – Editor’s note: This piece was written by Dr. Margaret Paul, a therapist with more than 40 years of experience. It’s not a diagnostic tool but is hopefully a resource.

[Read full article by Dr Margaret Paul on MindBodyGreen. Click here.]

Source:

3 Major Causes Of Depression — And How To Heal Them Without Meds – mindbodygreen.com

9 Signs Of A High-Functioning Alcoholic

How To Stay Motivated When You’re Not In The Mood To Do Anything

Via @MindBodyGreen

@MindBodyGreen @alignyourlife How To Stay Motivated When You’re Not In The Mood To Do Anything

BY AMITA PATEL 
APRIL 4, 2015

No matter how motivated we consider ourselves as people, there are always going to be times when are less than excited to take action.

Maybe sitting on the couch sounds more appealing than going for a run. Maybe the overwhelm of a large project prevents you from taking that first step, so you decide to “start tomorrow.” Or maybe it’s a more abstract lack of motivation, and you feel unable to focus on your true passions and desires.

To get down to business, it’s a good (and practical) idea to actually stop and think about what makes some people seemingly better able to stay focused, organized, and goal-oriented. Is it superior self-control? Do they have more motivation muscles? Are they inherently more inspired?

The answer to all of these questions is no. So why do we struggle with this issue?

·         Most of us were never taught these skills. Sure, I know how the capitals of the fifty states and I can hold my own in long division, but the skills associated with executive functioning are never formally taught. It’s assumed that you came out of the womb knowing how to manage your time, prioritize and push through discomfort.

·         We don’t plan our time, or if we do, we don’t learn how to stick to the plan.

·         We take on too much and then feel pulled in too many directions.

For most people, fear is the biggest culprit behind our motivation, time-management and general life struggles. Many of us unconsciously believe that we “should” be doing something other than what we want, we procrastinate to avoid pain, or we don’t believe we deserve to take time for ourselves.

The truth is that motivation isn’t about productivity, it’s the failure to use your personal power, giving up your freedom in the process.’ [1]

Click here to read more on how Amita Patel reminds those of us who have self-doubts, fears, those who tend to procrastinate, those of us who eagerly accepts the invitation to slump in front of a television rather getting on with business, that we are responsible for our own vision. In ms Patel’s own words, she wants to: ‘remind them of the reasons why they wanted to stop playing small in the first place.[1]

Find full article here.

SOURCE:

[1] Patel, Amita. 2015. How to stay motivated when you’re not in the mood to do anything. [Web:] www.mindbodygreen.com  [Date of Access:] 6 April 2015

@MindBodyGreen