I’ve seen the phenomena many times; people come to see the counselor/psychologist for whatever reason. Diagnosis is often anxiety or depression, which is quite correct, but what many individuals fail to understand is that the root of many of their problems lie in the choices they have made themselves.
Life is about choices, and granted, sometimes making such choices take some chemical intervention. Less anxiety, better choices….making certain choices can be really hard, but the bottom-line is, they are CHOICES. You can decide to cut off connections with a poisonous friend or to stop drinking alcohol, smoking, negative thinking, whatever your vice maybe. Whether you need the support of a professional and a pill or two, well, that is also entirely up to you. In the end, you see, you have the power to change your life, whether you believe it or not.
The problem is, people rarely take responsibility for their own miserable dispositions. They blame it on colleagues, exes, family members, past traumatic events, illness, and so forth. All these are valid reasons to be depressed, yes, and you may have been completely innocent of causing any of these bad events and/or relationship break-ups, but you are still responsible for your own decision to cling to it. I understand that letting go is never easy, therefore you have the option to get help; someone you can talk to who can guide you through your healing process.
Why not decide today to take back control of your life, reclaim your power and move forward, leaving those old hurts behind. Trust me, you CAN, yes, you cannot change the past, it is done, but you can decide today to change your future.
Come on friends, life can be such a beautiful adventure, a wonderful and precious gift, don’t let old grudges, pains and sorrows it away from you. And if you need help? Don’t ever be embarrassed to reach out; talk to somebody.
This then is my challenge to all: don’t let the past steal your joy, close the door on it and start living YOUR life with gratitude, peace and happiness.
INSPIRATION FOUNDATION. 2017. On Twitter: @InspireALLPLZ. Link: https://twitter.com/RespectYourself/status/817914613660549121
‘This beautiful spoken-word poem and animated video will remind you why we live and why we love. And, yeah, it might just make you cry.’ [Daniels:2016]
DANIELS, Allison. 2016. Spoken-Word Love Poem And Video Celebrate A Lifelong Love Story [Web:] MindBodyGreen. [Date of Access:] 18 March 2016.
If you’re like me, always running from point A to B, constantly rushing things, categorizing and re-ordering my thoughts and, of course, those endless lists….tasks to be ticked off, done and re-done and the checking up on people….mind-blowing. I simply flop into bed each night, exhausted but unable to fall asleep, for fear that I’ve missed something urgent during the day and those thoughts…sometimes I’m sure my husband can HEAR me think.
There were times in my life that I wish I could just switch off, like a robot, and reboot myself into a calmer frame of mind. I’ve tried yoga, and yes, it did indeed work a little, but I think my instructor heaves a sigh of relief when I say my goodbyes. I can be exhausting!
Jacqueline says: ‘’Truly calm people are a rare and exotic species that you can learn a lot from. Learn their common behaviours and attitudes, and you too can become an expert in responding to everyday stress and frustrations.” [MindBodyGreen]
Have a read, you may also benefit from these:
[Do read the full article here.]
- Take a walk…walk the dog, walk to the store, walk for fun.
- Don’t rush things; give yourself plenty of time when you have an appointment. Do not wait until the last minute to finish a task….not rushing will probably mean you do a better job too.
- Prioritize self-care; think good nutrition, exercise, sleep….do not be tempted to let anything get in the way of taking care of your health.
- Use routines; plan ahead, meals, what to wear, daily programmes….this is not only meant to provide security for children, it can also give adults a sense of calm purpose to know where they are going and what they are going to do.
- Practice being in the moment; enjoy the now….try meditation, gardening, anything to take your mind of daily stressors and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy…..life must not simply pass by, be in the moment and love your life.
- Use your phone judiciously; do not let your phone rule your life. Most of us use our phones these days as an extension of our body, always brandishing it like a weapon, forever being interrupted by calls. Make a point to answer only when you HAVE to and do turn that phone off from time to time. If your boss calls you at midnight, well, you are NOT on the job and I’m sure that file can be collected in the morning.
- Self-regulate and exercise healthy boundaries; learn to say no. Stop worrying that people will think you’re lazy or that people would like you less if you refuse to be available 24/7. If people don’t have respect for your boundaries, they are, in fact, not really friends. Make time for yourself and for the people close to you….be with the people that add value to your life.
- Always understand that life is not perfect, that things can (and probably will) go wrong sometimes. You can plan all you want, but be prepared that things will not always work out the way you want to. If it doesn’t, it is not the end of the world, adapt your plan, go with the flow.
- Connect with world in a meaningful, authentic way; spend some time with a precious family member, call a parent, spend some time in charity work. Do something every day that has nothing to do with making money or increasing your social standing, do something that has value, that can bring purpose and meaning to your life.
- Embrace your small place in the world; accept and embrace your responsibilities at work or within your family and remain aware that there is more outside of your little circle of peace. Be happy, content and thankful that you have your place in the universe, but do not take yourself too seriously. While you remain aware of others and their needs, do not carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Do what you can for others, but keep in mind that you alone cannot change the world.
I am sure that, by practicing these behaviourisms, we A-types will be able to bring about a sense of calm in our lives. It is only when we are kind to ourselves, that we will be able to reach out and help others with true compassion.
Now, where’s my diary, time to make a list of things to calm me down!
I know this is simply too easy…to suggest that we should live by the wisdom shared by the genius minds of yesterday. But it is tempting, isn’t it, to think that, all we need to do is to listen to the words of those who experienced controversy, who suffered at the hands of the immoral…those who seem to have the secret to survival of life in general.
Andrew Martin from Collective Evolution talks about the world as it is today…filled with war, famine, injustice, death and destruction…. He says, and I quote: “It seems strange when we have access to so much knowledge and collective wisdom that there continues to be such suffering conflict and ignorance.” [Source: Collective Evolution]
Click here to see all ten quotes.