Category Archives: Behaviour

Use love to thwart tantrums

#Parenting #TantrumControl #Family #Children #Relationships @HeyParentBaby

All parents know that helpless feeling when your child throws a tantrum. Some of us count our blessings when it happens at home and not in a busy shop. At least you are saved the embarressment and judgmental stares of strangers.

Still, you must find a way to deal with it. The age old trick of distraction usually works, but what if mini-you is unimpressed by your efforts?

Daily Parenting Tips suggests a hug. Asking baby for some love is guaranteed to throw them off track.

Why not try it next time your precious angel turns into an angry little devil?

SOURCE:

Daily Parenting Tips on Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeyParentBaby/status/900296977174454273

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What a dog can teach us about happiness

via @Artofimproving

Have you ever noticed the positive attitude dogs seem to have? They take every day as it comes and just ENJOY.

This video by Nat Johnson illustrates just that and suggests that we take the hint. Perhaps it is true that we, the ‘masters’ of the animal, can indeed learn something from them.

Read the article here.

Source:

JOHNSON, Nat. n.d. What a dog can teach us about the meaning of life. [Web:] Ideapod.com. [Date of Access:] 8 January 2016

6 Ways to Stop Mentally Beating Yourself Up

Via @PsychToday @selenidotorg by #SarahBest

“It’s time to give yourself a break. After all, you deserve one,” suggests the author. Aren’t we all guilty of this?

Isn’t it strange that, at a time that we seem to have so much compassion for others, we do not have the patience to be kinder to ourselves? Sometimes I wonder if our upbringing had something to do with this behavior. Perhaps we think that by humiliating ourselves, by always belittling and judging every action, we would seem less arrogant and people would not feel threatened by us. Ms Best is right, though, we should be stop being so hard on ourselves. It is only by being less harsh critics of ourselves that we will be able to find true compassion for others.

Do you think you will have difficulty to change your behavior? Here are some tips on how to stop all that negative self-talk:

[Excerpt only. Read full article here.]

1. Listen to your self-talk. When a friend tells you that you look ”good”, do you think, “I do feel great!”or do you wonder if she’s implying you are fat/wearing too much make-up. The first step to changing how you view yourself is to listen to how you talk to yourself.

2. Evaluate its credibility. Once you’ve tuned in to your self-talk, explore it. Healthy self-talk is based in reality, but unhealthy self-talk distorts it. Unhealthy self-talk triggers real emotions with unrealistic, or irrational, statements. [Read more about irrational thought patterns here.]

3. Examine the evidence. Challenge unhelpful messages.

4. Generate an alternative hypothesis, based on the evidence you do have.

5. Construct a statement to correct the error. Identify the thinking error.

6. Pretend you’re talking to a self-critical friend, and offer words of encouragement to yourself.

[Above six points are discussed in greater detail here.]

We always say that everyone deserves a loving relationship; true, but the most precious loving relationship is the one you have with yourself. By practicing the techniques above, you will find yourself becoming less and less critical of every little thing you do. You will not constantly question the truth of other people’s comments in an effort to further bring yourself down. Accepting compliments from others will become easier and giving yourself some credit will become a habit.

This is not pride, this is self-compassion. Go ahead, try it, you deserve it.

Please click here to read the original article on PsychologyToday.com.

Source:

6 Ways to Stop (Mentally) Beating Yourself Up | Psychology Today

What Happened When I Stopped #Complaining for Two Weeks #BetterLife #HolisticCounseling #SelfImprovement #PersonalGrowth #Behavior #Society

Via @HealthyLiving

Alexii Lardis, author for the Huffington Post, challenged herself and, for 15 days in August, she ”fasted from complaining” [1]. She stopped yelling at those irritating drivers that seem to have NO common sense, much less common decency, she stopped saying: ”I’m tired”, come 3 o’clock at the office, etc.

I was intrigued….it turned out that, after the fifteen days, she realized something extremely valuable about herself.

Here it is: ”The top five things that occurred when I stopped complaining, both the good and the bad…[excerpt only, read full article here.]

  1. I realized that I don’t sleep enough. The biggest complaint that I had to bite my tongue on? “I’m tired.”
  2. I argued less: I’m not exactly one to pick a fight, but I noticed how many stupid arguments I can have in a week….I’m pretty sure we’ve been told since kindergarten, “Think before you speak” but I noted how often I neglect this simplest piece of advice.
  3. Angst builds up. Here’s the deal: this experience was overall a positive experience for me. It truly made me reflect on my reactions to situations.
  4. Negativity is a state of mind: When you stop yourself from uttering negative speech, you begin to notice how negative your thought process tends to be.
  5.  

    I prayed more. If I was forced to turn the negative into the positive, I turned to God.

Her conclusion? “People have good days and people have bad days — but the truth is? It’s all about your outlook.” [1]

A valuable lesson this….and, to quote Epictetus: ”It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” [2]

[Please read the full article by ms Lardis here.]

Source:

  1. LARDIS, ALEXII.  2015/09/06  What Happened When I Stopped Complaining for Two Weeks on HuffPost  [Web:] HuffingtonPost.  [Date of Access:]  10 September 2015.
  2. GOODREADS.  n.d.  Quotes: Epictetus.  [Web:] Goodreads Quotes.  [Date of Access:  10 September 2015.

The Tiny Mental Shift That Makes EVERYTHING Easier

Via @MindBodyGreen.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Original article in MBG by Dr Patricia Thompson

When you are quite the procrastinator, like I am, you can make endless to-do-lists, you’re a master at goal-setting (in print, that is) and you never really get anything done. There is always some silly reason why: I can’t go to the gym; I can’t finish this assignment, because there is not enough time… On and on it goes…

Dr Thompson makes an interesting suggestion in her article for MindBodyGreen (read it here).  She writes: “Saying can’t takes away your power, and in some ways provides an excuse for not moving forward toward your goals or fulfilling your commitments.

So, how can you shift your mindset to sidestep this problem? Replace can’twith won’t.” [1]

Now your ”reasons” for not reaching your goal will sound different:  I won’t go to the gym; I won’t finish this assignment. 

That little word ”won’t” changes things….it gives back your power. Perhaps you won’t, but that doesn’t mean you can’t…”won’t” creates the possibility of a different choice, one with a different outcome.

Dr Thompson continues to advise on how we can implement this in our lives:

  1. Reflect on the truth – what is the real reason you are not reaching your goal. What is keeping you from moving forward?
  2. Make a commitment to yourself – having decided that your goal is indeed important to you, you need to make a deal with yourself and write it down! Put it somewhere where you can always see it. This will keep you motivated.
  3. Tell others about your goal – this will help to keeping you motivated, because people tend to ask about your progress and you would not want to lose face by telling them you’ve given up again.
  4. Repeat the process if necessary – sometimes, despite your efforts, you may lose your ”happy thoughts” and be unable to finish what you started. This can be the result of unforeseen circumstances or you could lose your passion for the project. Whatever it may be, remind yourself constantly of the ”can’t”/”won’t” mind-shift, and take the necessary steps to accomplish your goal.

[Please read the full article here.]

Source:

[1] The Tiny Mental Shift That Makes EVERYTHING Easier – mindbodygreen.com by Dr Patricia Thompson

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