Category Archives: Behaviour

Do life, nevertheless

13 March

@PsychToday #SelfImprovement #Anxiety #GetUpAndGo #NeverthelessPeople

In an article for Psychology Today, dr Jeffrey Bernstein mentions the effectiveness of the simple word ‘nevertheless’ on how we perceive our circumstances.

It gives a whole new meaning to the idea of  ‘looking on the bright side’.

Bernstein encourages us to get up when we fall and think differently about how we deal with life. We may have fallen down, but NEVERTHELESS we can get up. We still have some energy and two legs to stand upon. We can still do battle.

Sometimes we are looking at our lives as this enormous mountain that we must climb and, yes, for some people life can indeed be daunting. Life is NEVER really easy and, you can admit this, even for those of us who seem to have it all under control, simply doing life can become too much.

The thing is that those people who seem to have all their ducks in a row are the people that fight every single day to survive. They accept the challenge and encourage themselves to get up and get going, despite the challenges that life throws at them.

They are the ‘nevertheless-people’. They may feel afraid at facing some daunting task, nevertheless they stand firm and get it done.

When you are camped at the foot of mount Everest you have a choice, either you start climbing or you back off. You have to weigh the choices: when you make it to the summit, you get the prize. It will be extremely hard, you may even die, but you need to ask yourself if you are prepared to take the risk and be a winner, a survivor. You may feel weak from the high altitude, hungry for some ‘real’ food, freezing in the cold, but NEVERTHELESS you will get your backpack and your ropes and start clawing your way upward.

In life we rarely have such a clear cut choice. Our days are filled with inevitabilities, things you never expected to happen, yet are faced with. Yes, Everest comes to most of us on a daily basis.

You have a choice, are you going to allow circumstances to discourage you or are you going to say: “I don’t have the strength for this, NEVERTHELESS I will face it.” You may surprise yourself and find that, through your persistence, you have gained strength and wisdom.

Don’t underestimate your own strength and ability to push forward. The only people left behind are those who never want to get up in the first place.

DON’T YOU DARE MAKE THAT MISTAKE.

Source:

Psychology Todaybit.ly/2GfWyea

Image source:

Daphne Delaybit.ly/2thxdPt

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Get started on stress free living

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@31Practices #Values #StressManagement #SelfImprovement #Behavior #HealthyLiving #BalancedLife

Yesterday we spoke about stress and how it influences your physical body and your mentality. I’ve provided a few tips on how one can deal with stress on a day to day basis.

Today I want to share with you something I’ve discovered called ‘My 31 Practices‘. Remember I said that we all have choices, that we should live with our choices and take responsibility, not only for what we choose in life, but also for our own wellbeing. I also hinted that, the foundation of our lives and the way we live it, are our core values.

My 31 practices‘ helps with identifying your core values and choosing your own personal 31 practices to make you live a better life. It paves the way toward daily stress management and, as they call it, ‘authentic happiness’.

Would you make the wise decision today and join ‘my 31 practices‘? I guarantee that it delivers on its promise to help you become the best you can be.

Sign up today. Click here.

Source:

My 31 practices – https://www.my31practices.com

 

 

Tips on dealing with stress

Article 28 Feb

#Stress #Wellness #MentalWellness #Health #StressManagement

I’ve heard this question many times: “How does stress really influence my wellbeing?” Have a look at the image above. It clearly shows you how stress (and anxiety) can influence your body and mind.

This is old news for most wellness practitioners and, perhaps, for the public. But the problem is that we have become so used to being stressed, that we do not even notice it anymore. We have such busy lives, that, once stress affects you physically, you immediately have treatment to alleviate the symptoms just so that you can continue your very stressful life.

Stress builds up and eventually you will ‘crack’ under pressure. How often have you noticed that something meaningless can totally frazzle you? Something that, if it happened on another day, would not have had the same influence on you. You become unglued and the influence of your stress starts to reach further than yourself. It permeates your relationships, your lifestyle and consumes your identity. Does it sound far-fetched? It is not, believe me. Why do you think that many people feel confused and without purpose anymore? Why do people feel helpless and out of control?

Stress is a symptom of our times and cannot be avoided. We all have stress in our lives, and while some people can deal with it beautifully, others simply crumble beneath its onslaught. Dealing with stress is never easy, but there are ways that you can bring subtle changes in order to minimize its impact on your everyday life and your overall health. One also needs to remember that moderate stress is essential if you want to thrive. Stress can be positively channeled and used as a means to fuel our motivational strategies.

If you are suffering the ill effects of badly managed stress, you may want to take note of these 7 ways that mentally strong people use to deal with stress in their lives [Morin:2015].

They accept that stress is part of life. Unfortunately both good and bad stress is a reality we need to live with. The positive side to this is, that once you expect stress, you can also prepare for it. By taking care of your physical health and by preparing mentally for life and its challenges, you will be stronger and more likely to deal efficiently with challenging stressors.

They keep problems in proper perspective. Human beings have a default mindset that often exaggerate circumstances. We need to look at the bigger picture and see a specific problem within the bigger scheme of things.

They take care of their physical health. No matter how you try to shy away from it, the fact remains that exercise and healthy eating habits pay off. A warrior never go to war without his armor. You need to see your physical body as the armor with which you enter life’s battlefield every day. Your armor must be strong enough to withstand the enemy, which in this case is stressful situations. Weak armor will simply crumble and you will be unable to cope.

They choose healthy coping skills. We live in a society that has become so comfortable in seeking the easy way out. Instead of dealing with issues, many people will turn to ‘quick-fix ideas’. To cope with stress you will therefore find that many turn to alcohol or drug abuse, many become violent or seek other vices that endanger themselves or others. This is all a way to escape the reality of everyday life. People with a healthy mental attitude will prefer to channel the ‘negative’ emotions caused by stress into alternative activities, something that still allows for these feelings to exist, while giving them a mental and physical break from the impact stress may have. Hiking in nature, hobbies, volunteering, yoga, meditation and even an evening walk with your dog may relieve the symptoms of stress and clear your mind.

They balance social activity with solitude. Many times people feel like they want to avoid stress altogether, then they can either cram their schedules with activities in order to avoid dealing with the real problem or they can withdraw from society in an effort to ignore the problem and avoid confrontation. The secret is balance. Like with anything in life, stress is caused by mental overload. If you work too much or socialize too much, you get stressed and anxious. Even when you are alone, you can become stressed when your thoughts turn to work that needs doing or problems that need solving. Having a healthy support system is important and cultivating good relationships essential, but we need not socialize constantly. We need alone time to gather our thoughts, to meditate and to take care of ourselves.

They acknowledge their choices. We have the luxury of choice. We choose how we live, what we do and when we do it. Often, though, we tend to blame circumstances for certain stressful issues and while some events may be out of our control, we can still choose how we deal with them. Having a healthy attitude towards life means that you take responsibility for your behavior at all times. If you know you will not be able to deal with something, learn to say ‘no’ and accept it. Don’t burden yourself with cares and worries because of your choice, let it go. If you accept a challenge, if you choose ‘yes’, take responsibility for that and understand that no one is to blame but yourself.

They look for the silver lining. I heard a beautiful sentiment the other day: ‘If things have not worked out yet, it is not the end’. When you feel worn out by stress in life, don’t falter, don’t lose hope, this is NOT the end yet! Life is a journey and we have many experiences along the way. Develop a sunny attitude, be positive, despite how things are going at the moment. There is ALWAYS a bright side to everything, you just need to look for it.

It may seem tough at first, but once you’ve managed to integrate these tips as part of your life, things will indeed get easier. The point is, one should never lose sight of who you are, where you are, what your goals are. Everything in life needs to be evaluated in that manner, even something simple like an argument with a colleague. If you disagree with a co-worker about something, remember who you are, what your basic moral values are. These will help you to NOT say or do things that you may later regret. Where you are – what was your contribution to this argument? What is your position in this ‘fight’? What your goals are – what can YOU do to resolve this issue?

Once we take responsibility to manage our own stress, we will be able to live more balanced lives. We will, once again, be able to BREATHE.

SOURCES:

MORIN, Amy.  2015.  7 Ways mentally strong people deal with stressPsychology Today –  bit.ly/1g9QVAU

IMAGE SOURCE:

Sky’s the limit Natural Healing on Instagram – bit.ly/2oyr78k

Use love to thwart tantrums

#Parenting #TantrumControl #Family #Children #Relationships @HeyParentBaby

All parents know that helpless feeling when your child throws a tantrum. Some of us count our blessings when it happens at home and not in a busy shop. At least you are saved the embarressment and judgmental stares of strangers.

Still, you must find a way to deal with it. The age old trick of distraction usually works, but what if mini-you is unimpressed by your efforts?

Daily Parenting Tips suggests a hug. Asking baby for some love is guaranteed to throw them off track.

Why not try it next time your precious angel turns into an angry little devil?

SOURCE:

Daily Parenting Tips on Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeyParentBaby/status/900296977174454273

What a dog can teach us about happiness

via @Artofimproving

Have you ever noticed the positive attitude dogs seem to have? They take every day as it comes and just ENJOY.

This video by Nat Johnson illustrates just that and suggests that we take the hint. Perhaps it is true that we, the ‘masters’ of the animal, can indeed learn something from them.

Read the article here.

Source:

JOHNSON, Nat. n.d. What a dog can teach us about the meaning of life. [Web:] Ideapod.com. [Date of Access:] 8 January 2016

6 Ways to Stop Mentally Beating Yourself Up

Via @PsychToday @selenidotorg by #SarahBest

“It’s time to give yourself a break. After all, you deserve one,” suggests the author. Aren’t we all guilty of this?

Isn’t it strange that, at a time that we seem to have so much compassion for others, we do not have the patience to be kinder to ourselves? Sometimes I wonder if our upbringing had something to do with this behavior. Perhaps we think that by humiliating ourselves, by always belittling and judging every action, we would seem less arrogant and people would not feel threatened by us. Ms Best is right, though, we should be stop being so hard on ourselves. It is only by being less harsh critics of ourselves that we will be able to find true compassion for others.

Do you think you will have difficulty to change your behavior? Here are some tips on how to stop all that negative self-talk:

[Excerpt only. Read full article here.]

1. Listen to your self-talk. When a friend tells you that you look ”good”, do you think, “I do feel great!”or do you wonder if she’s implying you are fat/wearing too much make-up. The first step to changing how you view yourself is to listen to how you talk to yourself.

2. Evaluate its credibility. Once you’ve tuned in to your self-talk, explore it. Healthy self-talk is based in reality, but unhealthy self-talk distorts it. Unhealthy self-talk triggers real emotions with unrealistic, or irrational, statements. [Read more about irrational thought patterns here.]

3. Examine the evidence. Challenge unhelpful messages.

4. Generate an alternative hypothesis, based on the evidence you do have.

5. Construct a statement to correct the error. Identify the thinking error.

6. Pretend you’re talking to a self-critical friend, and offer words of encouragement to yourself.

[Above six points are discussed in greater detail here.]

We always say that everyone deserves a loving relationship; true, but the most precious loving relationship is the one you have with yourself. By practicing the techniques above, you will find yourself becoming less and less critical of every little thing you do. You will not constantly question the truth of other people’s comments in an effort to further bring yourself down. Accepting compliments from others will become easier and giving yourself some credit will become a habit.

This is not pride, this is self-compassion. Go ahead, try it, you deserve it.

Please click here to read the original article on PsychologyToday.com.

Source:

6 Ways to Stop (Mentally) Beating Yourself Up | Psychology Today