Category Archives: Counseling

NewYear, NewBeginning

I’ve seen the phenomena many times; people come to see the counselor/psychologist for whatever reason. Diagnosis is often anxiety or depression, which is quite correct, but what many individuals fail to understand is that the root of many of their problems lie in the choices they have made themselves.

Life is about choices, and granted, sometimes making such choices take some chemical intervention. Less anxiety, better choices….making certain choices can be really hard, but the bottom-line is, they are CHOICES. You can decide to cut off connections with a poisonous friend or to stop drinking alcohol, smoking, negative thinking, whatever your vice maybe. Whether you need the support of a professional and a pill or two, well, that is also entirely up to you. In the end, you see, you have the power to change your life, whether you believe it or not.

The problem is, people rarely take responsibility for their own miserable dispositions. They blame it on colleagues, exes, family members, past traumatic events, illness, and so forth. All these are valid reasons to be depressed, yes, and you may have been completely innocent of causing any of these bad events and/or relationship break-ups, but you are still responsible for your own decision to cling to it. I understand that letting go is never easy, therefore you have the option to get help; someone you can talk to who can guide you through your healing process.

Why not decide today to take back control of your life, reclaim your power and move forward, leaving those old hurts behind. Trust me, you CAN, yes, you cannot change the past, it is done, but you can decide today to change your future.

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Come on friends, life can be such a beautiful adventure, a wonderful and precious gift, don’t let old grudges, pains and sorrows it away from you. And if you need help? Don’t ever be embarrassed to reach out; talk to somebody.

This then is my challenge to all: don’t let the past steal your joy, close the door on it and start living YOUR life with gratitude, peace and happiness.

IMAGE SOURCE:

COLEMAN, Chrystal.  2012.  Persephone Magazine: Positivity Challenge Week 7: Staying Positive at Your Non-Ideal Job.  [Web:] http://bit.ly/2iXoEQZ  [Date of Access:] January 10, 2017.

VIDEO SOURCE:

MIND INNOVATION.  2014.  Excuses and Negativity – Inspirational Video. [Web:] https:

6 Ways to Stop Mentally Beating Yourself Up

Via @PsychToday @selenidotorg by #SarahBest

“It’s time to give yourself a break. After all, you deserve one,” suggests the author. Aren’t we all guilty of this?

Isn’t it strange that, at a time that we seem to have so much compassion for others, we do not have the patience to be kinder to ourselves? Sometimes I wonder if our upbringing had something to do with this behavior. Perhaps we think that by humiliating ourselves, by always belittling and judging every action, we would seem less arrogant and people would not feel threatened by us. Ms Best is right, though, we should be stop being so hard on ourselves. It is only by being less harsh critics of ourselves that we will be able to find true compassion for others.

Do you think you will have difficulty to change your behavior? Here are some tips on how to stop all that negative self-talk:

[Excerpt only. Read full article here.]

1. Listen to your self-talk. When a friend tells you that you look ”good”, do you think, “I do feel great!”or do you wonder if she’s implying you are fat/wearing too much make-up. The first step to changing how you view yourself is to listen to how you talk to yourself.

2. Evaluate its credibility. Once you’ve tuned in to your self-talk, explore it. Healthy self-talk is based in reality, but unhealthy self-talk distorts it. Unhealthy self-talk triggers real emotions with unrealistic, or irrational, statements. [Read more about irrational thought patterns here.]

3. Examine the evidence. Challenge unhelpful messages.

4. Generate an alternative hypothesis, based on the evidence you do have.

5. Construct a statement to correct the error. Identify the thinking error.

6. Pretend you’re talking to a self-critical friend, and offer words of encouragement to yourself.

[Above six points are discussed in greater detail here.]

We always say that everyone deserves a loving relationship; true, but the most precious loving relationship is the one you have with yourself. By practicing the techniques above, you will find yourself becoming less and less critical of every little thing you do. You will not constantly question the truth of other people’s comments in an effort to further bring yourself down. Accepting compliments from others will become easier and giving yourself some credit will become a habit.

This is not pride, this is self-compassion. Go ahead, try it, you deserve it.

Please click here to read the original article on PsychologyToday.com.

Source:

6 Ways to Stop (Mentally) Beating Yourself Up | Psychology Today